He stood at the gates of heaven, before Saint Peter, covered in sewage, with an embarrassed expression and said: “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“There was water everywhere, so I drank it.”
“I don’t know how my boy turned out so bad, I beat ‘em every day.”
“I know you had faith in Jesus but you were an ass hole and we don’t like ass holes up here,” Peter told Billy Robinson.
“If they didn’t want a cat playing with a candle, why did they let me near it?”
“Hey, I always drove better when I was drunk before.”
Saint Peter looked at the man and pronounced his judgment: “Given all the evil you did and how much you would enjoy hell, I sentence you to heaven.”
“I strapped on the vest but I had a short fuse.“
The Dumbass
“Okay, so let me get this straight, a troll climbing to have high level security clearance, said a bunch of cryptic nonsense that people turned into an insane and self contradictory conspiracy theory, that somehow involved an attack on the capital of a country that spends eight hundred billion dollars a year on defense, all to get rid of fictional Satanists that for no reason likes to kill children, and you believed it!?”
The Dumbass 2: The Next Line.
“I’m not even going to send you to hell, I’m just going to delete you.”
I know I cheated on the last two but I just wanted to put that in.
Original image by Vegard Henriksen from Pixabay.
C.L. Who Writes 
Leave a comment